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| What to expect from your first counselling session |
Counselling (and psychotherapy) is a process of healing; a place where one can uncover various layers of a problem in the presence of a non-judgmental and qualified professional. Contrary to stereotype, counselling is not the same as getting advice (though most often people do find solutions to their problems when in counselling). It helps people to gain clarity about their issues and to identify potential solutions for the same.
There is a lot of ambiguity and apprehension among people when going for a counselling session for the first time. The main reason for this is lack of adequate information from reliable sources about the topic. To put your mind to rest, here is a quick guide about what to expect from your first counselling session.
a) Explaining how counselling works and setting ground rules
b) Understanding the client’s area of concern and background information
c) Agreeing on a set of goals
Even though part (b) takes up most of the session time, (a) and (c) are equally important, and should not be overlooked. They shape the relationship between the counsellor and client, and decide the future course of action.
A counselling session lasts for 50-60 minutes (there might be instances when the duration would be longer, e.g. during a couples counselling session). During the initial 10-15 minutes, the counsellor will work towards making you comfortable and form a good rapport with you. She will give you a brief explanation of how counselling works or her own working style. You can use this time to ask any questions you might have about their qualifications or experience. You have every right to make an informed choice about your counsellor, so don't hesitate to ask. A counsellor is ethically bound to address any doubts you might be facing about the counselling process.
This is also the time when the ground-rules or “contract” is discussed. This includes an assurance of confidentiality. It can also include agreeing upon the duration and frequency of sessions, session fees, terms for cancellation or rescheduling and other logistics. Some counsellors ask their clients to fill out basic information forms before the first session, while others prefer to take down this information during the first meeting. This includes information such as your age, marital status, and contact details. Depending on your area of concern, the counsellor may ask you to fill out some forms or assessments.
Once the paperwork is out of the way, you will be asked to share the reason or concern that brings you to counselling. During this phase, your counsellor will encourage you to share your problem without inhibition. Sometimes you may not have the words to express a particular feeling or experience. Your counsellor will help you articulate these difficult emotions. She might ask you some questions to gain clarity about your situation, but will always maintain a warm, non-judgmental attitude. You have the choice of refusing to answer any questions if you feel uncomfortable doing so.
Understanding your concern may require the counsellor to gain some information about your family, past relationships and significant life events. It may also involve sharing information about areas of your life that you have never talked about with anyone. Be mindful of the feelings that come up during the conversation. If you start to feel too uncomfortable or overwhelmed, share this with your counsellor. Remember, openness and honesty is essential for counselling to succeed. So make sure that you bring up any difficulty you might be facing in talking about various things. Avoiding or ignoring these will hamper your progress in counselling.
When one begins to talk about emotional issues, it is quite easy to lose track of time. However, a counsellor needs to maintain time boundaries and will ideally remind you 10 minutes before the session time ends. This is essential for ensuring that the session does not end abruptly. It also leaves the counsellor with some time for summarising all that you have shared with her, and ensuring that you have been understood.
Towards the end of the first session, your counsellor will summarise the key issues you are facing at the moment and arrive at a mutually agreed set of goals which you will work towards during the counselling process. These goals will be based on your narrative, and are not rigid or fixed. You and your counsellor can revise them at any point during counselling.
Before the session ends, both of you would have ideally agreed on an appointment for the next session. Depending on your concern and their style of practice, the counsellor may suggest some tasks for you to undertake in the interim period till you meet again.
Most people expect to leave the counsellor’s office with a sense of relief or accomplishment, however this is less common than believed. Don’t beat yourself up if you feel uneasy or stirred up. Counselling, like any change, needs time. Feeling unsettled and disturbed are natural responses to bringing up uncomfortable aspects of your life. This is also a sign that you are moving towards change and betterment. It is in your best interest to not get too overwhelmed by the negative feelings and discuss the discomfort with your counsellor in your next session with her.
