http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/ask-the-expert/How-should-I-treat-my-cheating-husband/articleshow/47614758.cms
Question: I am a 26-year-old married woman with a 6 months old daughter. The biggest problem of my life is my philandering husband. We married one and a half years ago and before that we were engaged for a year. Despite being an arranged marriage, I fell madly in love with him. But I recently found out that he was having an affair with his ex. We ended up arguing on the issue and they went on for days. Every time he promised that he will not do anything to hurt me but always failed to live up to his words. He's a very flirtatious guy and can pursue just about any girl. I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave him because of my daughter, but he is not trustworthy at all. Over time my love for him has turned into deep hatred but my family is insisting that I should live with him for the sake of my daughter. Please give me some solution to change his behavior. - By Anonymous
Answer by Aditi Kulkarni: As much as you wish to change your husband's behaviour, there is little you can do unless he chooses to change it himself. Your experience hints that you might be at the receiving end of an emotionally abusive relationship. Some typical signs of emotional abuse include refusing to communicate, ignoring, extramarital affairs and provocative behaviour with opposite sex, unreasonable blame, belittling and humiliating behaviour. If you identify with these, it is possible that you are in an abusive relationship.
I recommend that you seek counselling from a qualified professional at the earliest if that is the case. Counselling will help you to rebuild your confidence and to gain clarity about what you wish to do. Contemplating separation is often difficult when there is a child involved, and family pressure makes it even more complicated. Instead of jumping to a hasty conclusion, I urge you to talk to a counsellor. It might be useful for you and your husband to see a couple therapist too.
Trust is one of the most important elements of any relationship. By living in a marriage where there is no trust, you are at risk of becoming bitter, which can have negative consequences for your daughter's development. For her best interest, if possible, you and your husband together need to work on how you want your relationship to progress.
Question: I am a 26-year-old married woman with a 6 months old daughter. The biggest problem of my life is my philandering husband. We married one and a half years ago and before that we were engaged for a year. Despite being an arranged marriage, I fell madly in love with him. But I recently found out that he was having an affair with his ex. We ended up arguing on the issue and they went on for days. Every time he promised that he will not do anything to hurt me but always failed to live up to his words. He's a very flirtatious guy and can pursue just about any girl. I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave him because of my daughter, but he is not trustworthy at all. Over time my love for him has turned into deep hatred but my family is insisting that I should live with him for the sake of my daughter. Please give me some solution to change his behavior. - By Anonymous
Answer by Aditi Kulkarni: As much as you wish to change your husband's behaviour, there is little you can do unless he chooses to change it himself. Your experience hints that you might be at the receiving end of an emotionally abusive relationship. Some typical signs of emotional abuse include refusing to communicate, ignoring, extramarital affairs and provocative behaviour with opposite sex, unreasonable blame, belittling and humiliating behaviour. If you identify with these, it is possible that you are in an abusive relationship.
I recommend that you seek counselling from a qualified professional at the earliest if that is the case. Counselling will help you to rebuild your confidence and to gain clarity about what you wish to do. Contemplating separation is often difficult when there is a child involved, and family pressure makes it even more complicated. Instead of jumping to a hasty conclusion, I urge you to talk to a counsellor. It might be useful for you and your husband to see a couple therapist too.
Trust is one of the most important elements of any relationship. By living in a marriage where there is no trust, you are at risk of becoming bitter, which can have negative consequences for your daughter's development. For her best interest, if possible, you and your husband together need to work on how you want your relationship to progress.
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