Finding your Mind's Oasis

An oasis is a patch of green amidst a desert landscape. Historically, these have been spots for merchants and traders to rest and replenish their resources. With the stresses of our lives, we too need an oasis – to relax and reflect; to regain our inner balance and to be able to face our challenges with renewed energy. Taking some time for yourself is not just helpful, but necessary! We know all too well the risks of burnout and exhaustion. It isn’t always possible to make drastic changes in your lifestyle and cut back on the work load. However, despite these limitations, there is one thing that everyone can do. And that is finding a little time on a regular basis – perhaps once a week or fortnight – and dedicate this to doing anything that you find joy in.

Taking some time for yourself is not just helpful, but necessary! We know all too well the risks of burnout and exhaustion. It isn’t always possible to make drastic changes in your lifestyle and cut back on the work load. However, despite these limitations, there is one thing that everyone can do: finding a little time on a regular basis – perhaps once a week or fortnight – and dedicate this to doing anything that you find joy in.

It doesn’t have to be any particular activity. In fact, it doesn’t have to be an activity at all if that suits you best! You might find joy in reading a book, or running or painting or listening to music or meeting people or visiting a spa. Whatever it is you choose to do, remember to enjoy this time without guilt or worry.

If you practice this on a regular basis, you will start to see the effect yourself. Feeling energized, happier and more connected to people around you are just some of the outcomes of setting aside time for yourself.

4 Simple Steps to Booking Your First Online Counselling Session

Maybe you have thought of talking to a counsellor. Maybe someone you know needs to speak to one. However, despite having the right intent, you never really got down to visiting one. You probably searched on Google a few times before something else took up your time and attention. Or you couldn't find one whose timings matched your schedule. I want to make it super easy for you to speak to a counsellor. All you need to do is follow these 4 Simple Steps:

1. Log in to Facebook ( https://www.facebook.com/aditikdcounsellor/ )
2. Click on "Book Now" to reserve an appointment
3. Pay online to confirm
4. Connect with me at the time of your session via audio/video call

Yes, that's all. It really is that simple!

I have available evening and late evening slots to make it easier to reach out at your convenience. Feel free to connect through Facebook or email (aditikdcounsellor@gmail.com) if you have any queries about this. 

Personal Well-being and Self-care

A woman juggles with multiple roles and expectations on a daily basis. With increasing demands being put on her time and attention, self-care often gets neglected. If you are one of the many women who consider taking care of their well-being is a luxury that they cannot afford, read on.

The incidence of mental health problems among women is on the rise. Depression, anxiety and poor self-image are conditions that women are more prone to than men. One of my female counselling clients used a beautiful metaphor to describe her condition. She shared that she felt like a well out of which people were always drawing out water. She feared that soon she would run out of anything to give.

Just like a well, if not replenished, runs out of water, similarly, any individual who is only expending her resources and not adding to them, will begin to experience the effects of burnout. This includes struggling to keep up with your daily tasks, disorientation, forgetfulness, frequent fatigue and tiredness. In the short run, even though you feel tired, you believe this is in the best interest of your family or spouse or career. In reality though, by neglecting your own well-being, you are doing not only yourself injustice, but are also risking the well-being of those who depend on you.

Here are some simple tips to get you started with self-care:

Get adequate rest – An average adult needs 7 to 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep daily. Health benefits of regular sleeping patterns include higher performance, enhanced memory and longer life-span. You are also more likely to be in a good mood if you are well rested and are able to make decisions more efficiently.

Learn to say No – If you find it difficult to say no, you probably take on more than you can handle. Your reasons for doing this may vary; maybe you don’t want a confrontation, or fear offending the other person, or you really want to help. This can lead to a lot of stress as well as guilt, if you are struggling to complete the expected tasks. An important aspect of taking care of yourself is to be able to realistically assess how much you will be able to handle, and to assertively refuse what is beyond your capacity.

Ask for help – There is no shame in asking for help. If you are feeling overworked, don’t hesitate to reach out to family members to lend you a hand. In most cases, asking is all it takes. People who care about you will be happy to help you out. In case this is not an option, consider hiring help to ease your burden.

Eat healthy – Apart from having the right amounts and nutrients, it is essential that you have your meals at regular intervals. Adding salads, fruits and vegetables to your meals gives you the nutrients necessary for warding off a number of physical ailments.  A balanced diet and the appropriate intake of nutrients and fibres keeps you fit, giving you more energy to cope with the demands of a hectic life.

Take time out for yourself – Spend at least a few hours every week with yourself, either doing something you find relaxing or just reflecting on the week that’s gone by.  This is not an indulgence, but an investment in nurturing your sense of identity. It will give you the opportunity to work your way through any disorienting thoughts, and allow you to be a better partner, parent, friend and above all, a calmer individual.

Get active – Physical activity boosts the release of Endorphins – which are neurotransmitters responsible for positive effects such as feeling of euphoria, modulation of appetite and an enhancement of immune response. This helps in coping better with stress. Research suggests that in addition to physiological benefits, exercise helps in clearer thinking and maintaining a more positive outlook. Start with something you can easily add to your routine, gradually increasing the time and intensity.

Eat healthy – Apart from having the right amounts and nutrients, it is essential that you have your meals at regular intervals. Adding salads, fruits and vegetables to your meals gives you the nutrients necessary for warding off a number of physical ailments.  A balanced diet and the appropriate intake of nutrients and fibres keeps you fit, giving you more energy to cope with the demands of a hectic life. As a woman, you must ensure that you consume foods rich in iron and calcium.

Start out with small steps – Don’t be overwhelmed by the idea of making so many changes in your routine. Start small; take your time to work out a healthier lifestyle for yourself. And even if you don’t see the effects immediately, don’t give up.

Originally published on http://www.healtheminds.in/blog/women-2/personal-well-being-and-self-care

What is counselling?

What is Counselling? (Photo source: Pixabay)

What is counselling? Quite simply, it is a process of healing, which is defined by certain boundaries. Contrary to stereotype, it isn’t a place to get advice (though most often people do find solutions to their problems when in counselling). It is a place to uncover the layers of your problem with the help of a warm, non-judgmental professional. 

The question I face most often is: why do you need a counsellor when you have family and friends you can speak to? Coming from people raised in a culture of close-knit social contact, it’s a pretty valid query. However, it is this very nature of our society that makes counselling – in its real sense – a necessity.

In my understanding, counselling is a relationship, a space that is defined as being safe and confidential, where the boundaries are well defined. Most importantly, the counsellor – being an objective stranger – does not feel pressurised to “fix things” or “make it better”. This might seem like a trivial thing, or even a negative point to some of you. Believe me, it isn’t. I, for one, have been more frustrated about my problems after talking about it than I was before, on more than one occasion. Quite naturally, if I’m miserable, the people who care for me want my misery to end. So instead of just hearing me out…instead of letting me vent, I find them joining in my rant. I empathise with that need to support by joining; I do it myself so often!

Your counsellor is not your friend. He or she is a professional whose job is to facilitate you to find a way through your mess. And in doing so, they extend an unconditional acceptance of you as a person. They may challenge your habits and behaviours, but never doubt the person you are. They believe in your potential to excel, and communicate it too.

I can’t begin to describe how liberating it is to speak your mind without trying to mould it to suit the listener. For me, the most important thing about counselling is this opportunity to say out loud, things you are scared of even saying in your head. It is the first step to finding your way out (or ‘in’…whichever it is that you are looking for)…a pre-requisite to recovery.

Counselling is for everyone. And I don’t mean it in a marketing-sorta-way. Everybody faces emotional turmoil at various times in his or her life. A lot of times, you feel equipped to handle it yourself. There may even be times when you feel too overwhelmed to cope. The latter might require you to experience a longer-term, more intense counselling relationship, but in both instances, counselling will prove to be useful.